It's the final day of 2024!! This year went by so fast, I feel like I blinked and it's already over. I have no complaints, anything was better after the trainwreck that was 2023. Since I still haven't decided what to do about next year's diary, I might as well update what I've been up to the past week, because a lot happened~

Two ultimate lifeforms chatting about how much they hate humans together. I got Goku Black from a good yume friend of mine!! She also sent me some herbal tea and a pretty chunky shell bracelet handmade with shells from her island. Plus the Christmas tree at Bear's house. The amount of gifts this year was insane!!

On Christmas Eve, I spent the day getting chores done and drawing here and there, killing time until I went over to Bear's house for the evening. We used to open gifts at midnight, but I swear we're doing it and earlier each year... by 9PM we were sorting presents and figuring out the order to open them! I got a new electric kettle (I'm so excited!! I'm still sad about having to toss my old one out) from Bear's sister, a mushroom plush from Bear's brother, a new sketchbook and oil pastels and a tea mug set from Bear's parents (I'm so stoked to try out the oil pastels, I've been wanting to try it for a while) and in addition to Shadow, Bear got me an otoge, a ring to match the necklace he bought me last month, and a haul of Chiikawa goodies! I bought Bear Astro Bot and a new pair of shoes. Sometime last month, I got an email from them announcing a new version of some sneakers he has but are starting to wear out. It was perfect! He had no idea they existed and he was so surprised that I wish I had recorded him opening it.

The tradition is to spend Christmas Eve together, and then go visit Bear's extended family on Christmas. I wore a coordinate very similar to the one I wore in March, just with less accessories and no petticoat. This year, Bear's family had a new house and I was stunned by how gigantic it was!! The inside was already amazing enough but they also had a pool with a shower area, a fire pit, and an ADU in the back. Man, those kids don't know how good they have it. Bear and I passed out on the couch after gorging ourselves with lasagna and strawberry cheesecake and got up just in time to play bingo with everyone (Regular bingo and not lotería to my surprise!) where Bear and I each managed to win a gift card. Thank goodness, cause I really needed help buying cat supplies, LOL.

Here's my favorite gifts from this year! Shadow, my ring, and my Chiikawa pochette!! I'm still sad the store didn't have Hachiware available but Chiikawa is still way too adorable.

To my surprise, I actually got a little Christmas bonus at work! As soon as my boss handed it to me, I already knew: I had to take myself to see The Nutcracker! A friend from my lolita comm joined me and we both dressed up. It was so much fun!! Our seats were very high up, to the point where everyone on the stage looked like toys, kind of fitting right? I always get a little teary eyed when I see the Sugar Plum Fairy... After the ballet, we went to eat at a restaurant nearby before going home. I need to try to invite people out and make plans more often because I want to do more stuff like that!

The coordinate I wore to the ballet! I was going to write down a coordinate summary as usual but it's nearly all Angelic Pretty. If you're wondering what I was listening to, it was Type O Negative again LOL.

The next day I also had plans! While continuing Kamen Rider Faiz with friends, I drew a birthday card for the party I was attending later that night. Bear, another friend and I all went to hot pot for dinner first (It's become our New Year tradition!) and after Bear went home, we went to the party together. It was vampire themed so my friend gave me some fangs to wear, but sadly the gel for them wasn't sticking so I gave up and took them off (She looked so cute though!). We both had work the next morning so we didn't stay too late, but you bet we danced and sang along with everyone while we were there.

The outfit I wore for the evening! Originally I wanted to wear Iron Gate (I would have twinned with one of the girls there!) but since my heels are still broken, I went with a more casual look. My bat bag's name is Vincent by the way!

For everyone living in the future, happy new year! The rest of the world will catch up soon. I need to do laundry today...

He's lost 4 bouncy balls already somehow in this tiny house and has a bunch of toys. His favorite, however? A piece of string. Typical.

Well, it's official. I have a cat now! In the true cat fashion, I didn't pick him, he chose me. Maybe the way he was drawn to my voice from the beginning, when his mange was so bad he couldn't even open his eyes was an early indicator. "Just who's cat is he anyway?" my grandpa asked while we were at breakfast the other week. At that point I was still unsure, because although my mom really wanted an orange cat, she didn't want to immediately place him in an unfamiliar area and didn't know how well he would get along with her cat. There's no denying that nursing this kitty back to health has helped us become closer and spend more time together, which I'm really grateful for. Even though he won't go home with my mom, she can come over and get all the orange cat time she wants.

Originally, my uncle had named him Guero, referring to his light coat color, but my sister renamed Raunchy because of how mange had transformed him. My mom and I call him Ranchito though, because it's way cuter. In my head I had always fantasized that my first cat after Theodore would be another long haired tabby like a Maine Coon or a black cat that I'd name Sabbath, but life has a funny way of tossing up your plans. He's playful, he's crazy, he's adorable, he's now mange-free, and he tried to bite my boob the other day. What more could you ask for in a cat? I love him.

He's still not allowed on my bed! Even though his mange is gone, he's a filthy boy who likes to roll around in dirt. Little weirdo. I'm gonna find out how he handles bathing pretty soon, pray for me.

I managed to finish all Christmas shopping on the 21st! This year I bought presents for 10 people and sent out 10 cards, so I think it was an alright amount without burning myself out! Most of it was for Bear's family so although it sounds excessive, I wouldn't have a Christmas without them so I'm actually grateful to have that many people to get gifts for.

I can't show most of the art I made for gifts since they still need to be kept secret but I can still show off this card I did for my penpal! Hopefully it arrived to her safely, she sent me some lovely postcards during her trip to Japan.

Speaking of those postcards, here's a bunch of things I got from friends for Christmas!! I got a wonderful card and some adorable stationary from Ally, a lovely kitty card and a BtSSB pocket mirror and washi tape from Mero, the cutest kewpie doll, Pompompurin and Chiikawa stickers from Flonne, postcards from my penpal, and the rest from one of my good online friends who doesn't have a personal site. I can't believe I've known her for 10 years already! I love the Bewear kokeshi doll and the Purin pochette sooo much!

It feels like so much has happened in just these past two weeks, and yet I still can't believe the year is already almost over. There's still so much I want to do before it's 2025! But I'm a slow to action kind of person, so I'll just have to be patient and cross things off my list one at a time. Oh yeah, hot pot with friends was amazing! We had both KBBQ and hot pot that night. I was skeptical we would have enough stomach room for both, but it worked out perfectly since there were 5 of us in the group! My friend wanted to wear her wolf tail but didn't want to do it alone so almost all of us wore one with her.

Outfit rundown: Headdress: Antique Beast; Earrings, T-shirt, Cuff, Rings, Choker: Hot Topic; Skirt: Maxcicimam; Boots: Universal Thread; Bag: Ugly Plants; Tail: Alice and the Pirates

I'm also making progress on my shelves! I want to finally have them reorganized along with the living room by the new year, but I know it probably won't happen in time. It'll feel good when I can finally update my collection page. I've already had to sell a few of my things and store away all of my Nendoroids, and I'll probably have to store even more figures later due to lack of space... It wouldn't be such an issue if I could fit at least another shelf in this room but oh well, that's just how it is. I don't want to completely get rid of my collection either! Some people feel relief and fatten their wallets when they sell off everything they own but I get very sentimental over my belongings and end up regretting getting rid of stuff if I'm not 100% sure I don't want it anymore. Guess I'm just more materialistic than usual.

A couple of my plush display shelves. Everyone gets lint rolled and spot cleaned before they're arranged! Or bathed of course, if they need it. I can't wait to show off new pictures once everything's done!

A lack of space means my spending on merch has slowed down considerably too. It's not that I have every one of my grails, but more that there's no point in buying them if I have no room to display them. However, I do have one pre-order waiting for me next year!

They're making red and black colorways of the Robbie figures! So of course I had to order them too since I already own the rest of the colors. Though, I'm still a little sore about the Sweet Factory exclusives I missed out on... I want those Princess Heart wands!! I didn't even know they had an English site store until now.

Look at how cute they are!! These versions don't have blood on their mouth and come with the wands. Totally unfair, I thought they were JP only for the longest time.

Some small purchases I made! Bear gloves that turn into mittens and some strawberry knit wristcuffs. The Bear gloves are so cute and soft! They would be perfect for those cold mornings so I can draw at my computer, except those never happen anymore because my grandpa turns on the heater when it's 70 degrees outside.

I couldn't go out for ILD, but the Christmas meet more than made up for it. Since it had been two years since I had worn my Milk and Snow Strawberry JSK (2 years?! How!!), I decided to make a new coordinate with it. When I first got this first dream dress around 8 years ago, I wasn't able to coord it very well at all. Now I feel like each coordinate I make with it gets better and better!

Coordinate rundown: Headdress, Brooch: Precious Bbyz; Jewelry: Hot Topic, Claire's, Angelic Pretty; JSK: Baby, the Stars Shine Bright; Blouse, Bag: Bodyline; Bolero: Little Dipper; Wristcuffs, OTKS: Angelic Pretty; Socks, Shoes: Offbrand

I had such an amazing time! My only regret is that I couldn't sample every dish everyone had brought because I was so full. The food was delicious! I also got to participate in white elephant where I was able to steal a strawberry cookie jar from a friend. After white elephant, the party winded down with some karaoke and you'll never guess what song was the final one of the night.

You can't see it very well, but even my ankle socks had bunny ears on them!

I got one of my Christmas presents early a couple of days ago! The next day after seeing Sonic 3, I decided to close up at work to see if I could pick up a Shadow plush at the closest Build-a-Bear to me. To no surprise, he was sold out. I messaged Bear about my disappointment, noting only one mall in the city still had him in stock and went about my day. That same night, Bear had him in hand for me!! He said it was the last one and that he only was able to purchase him by asking because the bin was completely empty. Merry Christmas to me!! He's so soft and I've cuddled with him lots already, plus he was my work buddy yesterday. Between this, and all the wonderful gifts (Both physical and digital!) I've gotten from friends the past couple of weeks, I feel so lucky and blessed. Thank you everyone...

I have no idea what to do about a 2025 diary. I still don't feel quite ready to make my own layout without a template babysitting me, but I also don't want to use this same one so I guess I'll be on the lookout for a new layout for me to Frankenstein into my own. I still haven't even finished the kewpie adoptables!! Actually, I kind of lost motivation for those because I don't like the way they look anymore... I'll get over it eventually. Don't rush me!

Here is Ranchito playing with a slice of bread. I left him alone for 5 minutes and came back to this and to this day I have no idea where he got the bread from. What a lovely mess he left for me to clean up!

It's already the second week of December?! How? After a deadly combination of holiday spending and bills, I had no money left to dress up and take myself out for International Lolita Day. However, it's been my favorite kind of weather lately (cold and rainy), so even though I wasn't able to ride my bike, I'm enjoying it and after I've finished packing orders and holiday cards and packages, I'll finally get back to Fable with a hot mug of spicy miso soup. I want a wife in Oakvale...

R has been such a good boy! It really is true what they say about orange cats, he is without a doubt the most affectionate cat I have ever cared for. He loves food, headbutting my shoes, rolling around in dirt, having conversations with me, his fishing rod toy, and follows me around like a puppy. I cradle him like a baby for his eye drops and he's already purring the moment I pick him up, even if he hates the drops themselves. He's terrified of my bike but he's no coward; he showed just how brave he is when he defended me and chased off the neighborhood loose poodle from our driveway.

At first, my mom and I celebrated how her husband had a change of heart and was going to let him go home with them once he got neutered, but they've since had a fight and he took back his offer. Now my mom is being insistent that I should keep him, but I'm trying not to romanticize it too much. I'd have to finally clean up here upstairs, but it would be nice to finally have a lap cat, plus I've never had an orange cat before... Theodore, my old cat was always at my feet and would sleep with me but he couldn't tolerate being held for long. Things could change between now and when he finally gets the snip, so who knows. As long as he stays in the family, that's all that matters.

This picture is from over a week ago so he looks even better now! The vet gave him stronger eye drops and while one eye is still a little red and irritated, he's looking and feeling so much better. Now we can finally see how playful and affectionate he really is!

Some outfits from the past few weeks! First, I went to a concert by myself. No one I knew was going but I'm glad that didn't stop me from attending, because I had such a great time!! It was the only concert I went to this year, and it was an artist I had wanted to see for the past few years since I discovered them. Bear picked me up after and we got late night fast food. Next, a simple outfit to get dinner at our favorite hot dog place. My only regret is that I couldn't try both the hot dog AND the burger of the week since the burger had pineapple and Bear isn't a fan.

Then, what I wore on Thanksgiving! Now I really feel like a horror game protagonist with my moto boots and sweater dress combination. It felt so good to eat to my heart's content since I wasn't able to last year when my jaw was acting up. On the last day of November I went to a little friendsgiving get together! Since I was going to be away from the sensitive and impressionable eyes of any children, this was the perfect opportunity to be a LAZY FUCKIN' BEAR. I made banana pudding and brought a quiche, one friend made katsudon and the other mac and cheese. So good!

We spent the night chatting and bothering my friend's ginormous cats, and we accidentally stayed up until 2AM when I had work that same morning, oops. Finally, what I wore to an artist alley Christmas party!! I'm so grateful to the organizers, they are very sweet and I love what they do. The theme was western, so Bear let me borrow his hat and I wore Iron Gate (no boots sadly!) and sang my go-to karaoke song.

The hot dog I had for dinner, plus the necklace Bear got me for our anniversary (I got us matching Chiikawa Toilet Time shirts)!! I'll scribble you something if you can correctly guess how long we've been together. That night I just wore a repeat outfit involving my IW sailor collar braid OP and we had KBBQ at a place we previously had hot pot at before. It was delicious and I'm glad we tried it, but I think I prefer the hot pot at this place in particular since there's more variety.

The end of the year approaching always makes me think a lot, more than usual. Over the course of my adult life I've talked to a lot of different people, young and old, and got their perspectives on life, partially as an aid to help figure out what is "wrong" with me. My conclusion? There is no cure! This is simply the human condition. The fact that every human struggles just as much, if not more than me both brings me comfort and drives me to madness all at once. I want to make peace with it. I surrender to it, and acknowledge how blessed I am despite how often unhappiness crosses my mind.

This whole time, I feel more like I've been observing others more than I've been living my own life. For this reason, I want to at least try to be more proactive with my life next year because it seems that I'm in it for the long haul if I've already made it this far somehow. That, and I want to stop navel-gazing so much! Self-reflection is a powerful tool, don't get me wrong... it's just been holding me back more than it's been serving me. So there. Those are my vague 2025 resolutions!

Dawn is nearly here. I actually really enjoy being up early in the morning when it's still dark, but then the sun fully emerges and I want to crawl back into bed to escape the day ahead of me. The birds are up and chirping. I love sitting here at my desk with the window open, listening to them and letting the fresh air roll in. Yesterday afternoon was still so warm that I have mosquito bites all over from spending time outside caring for the kitty cat, so it's a nice change. Please don't be warm again today... I read an article that stated this Winter would be warmer than usual, so I'm dreading it. I just want to wear long sleeves. Please. I'm still in a t-shirt and shorts.

I've still been playing a lot of Grundo's Cafe lately! It gives me something to look forward to everyday. Big thanks to Bree and Flonne for making my childhood dreams of a Halloween Uni come true. I also achieved my dream of having a Halloween Cybunny which was my goal on real Neopets before I stopped playing! Now I welcome my newest addition, my Valentine Kougra meant to be... well, I'm sure you can guess.

I said this in a now deleted diary entry, but I connect to others online and often bury myself in their lives and their problems so I don't have to deal with my own life. It's funny how it works though, because it seems like good things are more likely to manifest when I pull back and become more selfish, why is that I wonder? The more you get tangled in other's lives, the more stress you deal with is the conclusion I've come up with. Still though, I want to try to be there to the best of my ability without burning myself out (my inspirations are Tomoyo Daidouji and Hachiware ).

Oh yes, since I've been taking care of R (the kitty), I've been seeing my mom a lot more this past week too. It's nice to spend time with her, we had dinner the other night and it was really delicious. She said she wants to take Bear and I to this wood fired pizza place out of town and play games together. "I don't even know my own daughter, I thought about how I don't even know your favorite color or what you like to do besides sketch," she told me over the phone yesterday. That's true. I don't even mean that in a bitter or resentful way, it's just how things have always been. She was very surprised when I told her it's pink... although I feel like lavender is starting to approach #1 for me, now that I think about it.

I made these kewpie doll adopt bases yesterday! Pixel art is really fun but challenging, it's tough to figure out how to best utilize such a small canvas! I'm no good at anti-aliasing so I just keep things simple and bright. I have quite a few outfit ideas so once the ones on my list are done, they'll have their own adoptable page. Feel free to use the base to edit your own by the way! Just credit me please.

What else before I make the trek to the mailbox outside... oh, I decided I'm going to buy myself TMGS4 for Christmas. I haven't been regularly studying Japanese in a couple of years now and I'm just going to bite the bullet and immerse myself in a game. It'll be difficult, but I want to play it and learn!! I'll never get to a comfortable level if I don't force myself to read. I'm always shocked at how little and how much I understand at the same time. Plus, I really want to date Mikage-sensei... Ryouta, the prince of the game looks very cute too though. Red eyes are an easy way to win me over.

Edit 12 hours later... I had a big mail day today!! Not because I got a huge package but because I obtained a dream item. Big, big thank you to Elly for alerting me!! I always wanted a lolita brand rider jacket, but I absolutely refuse to own anything made with synthetic leather because of how poor quality they are so my options were further limited. I'm so, so excited to make a Travis themed coordinate and wear my ita bag with it! I never thought I would own the exact jacket I wanted. There's a couple small damages the seller didn't disclose and it's missing the other sleeve belt, but I'm just happy to own it.

This morning I went into work early before anyone was there to retrieve my sketchbook since I forgot it the day before. I dressed up thinking I would get it, then go have breakfast at a restaurant I've been wanting to try for years across the street. Unfortunately, it was so busy (I should have known better) that they didn't have room to seat a single person without a wait so I just decided to come back home and save money. Oh well, I want to spend today drawing some yume art and finally get around to dusting my computer. The Oakvale theme suddenly popped into my head the other day, so I think I'll boot up Fable. The fairytale feel of that game is so unmatched.

The loss of my uncle is hitting me harder than I thought it was going to, for reasons I won't get into. I'm trying to spend more time with my family, but everyone is so busy and has their own lives to tend to. At least I went over to see my aunt (Her home was beautiful! I swear her bathroom was the same size as my room) and we enjoyed pizza and a movie together. Since my uncle is gone, my mom and sister and I are taking care of his cat. We don't know who is going to keep him yet, but right now our focus is on getting him well again. The poor baby has mange and we can't even pet him without gloves because he's contagious to humans too. In a couple of weeks he has another check up at the vet, so fingers crossed this treatment will get rid of it.

We snuck in the cornbread cookie into the movie theater. Honestly, it was worth the money. Plus some new babies!! Bear and I did a little shopping and I picked up a couple of books and a Shadow and Sonic bracelet set. I took Shadow to match my inner edgelord.

Halloween was uneventful, Bear and I just had goodies at home and watched Beetlejuice while I wore my new hat that I love so much that I'm going to wear it all year round. There was a party I was supposed to go to, but my grandpa got sick so I didn't want to leave him home alone. I didn't get any pan de muerto like I wanted to either... but the day wasn't wasted, because I was suddenly struck by inspiration and made a new homepage! I'm still very happy with it, it's a nice and simple 2 column layout but it actually took me nearly 8 hours to complete from start to finish. Still figuring things out!

We still got to go to one Halloween event! I dressed up for a little arcade meet. Bear wore the same headband as me but in purple.

Bear and I had a big day at the beginning of this month... it was the day a certain store had an official Chiikawa merch drop!! We left as soon as we could that Sunday morning. They didn't have everything I wanted, but I'm still happy with our little haul. Chiikawa takes the pain of everyday living away...

Bear's side is the very left, everything else is mine. What a pleasant surprise that GS had Code: Veronica!! I snatched it up right away. I don't know what to put in the Hachiware bag yet, maybe my scrunchie collection? Also: BALD

If I'm honest, these past few weeks have felt lonely. I realized just how much I rely on my online friends so I'm trying to pull back and figure out how I was before I joined Discord again in 2020. It's not that I don't love my friends, because they are a huge part of my world... I just need to learn to enjoy my own company again, because at the end of the day someone can't always be there for you. I've been spending a lot of time self-reflecting, drawing and also playing Grundo's Cafe (Thank you so much Pom!!) It's very nostalgic and I'm having so much fun. In other good news, I also got into a BIG project that I can't talk about in detail, but I'm so, so happy and excited to be a part of the crew.

Two deco boards I mailed to friends recently. I hope they arrive safely. One of these days I'll have to actually learn how to use these markers, maybe I should join Do Art Daily?